David Coote was a former Premier League referee. He got sacked from his role due to an off-field comment. This came to light through a social media video that went viral quite quickly. I wrote a piece on it. You can check it out at: https://www.nicklieberthal.com/blog/a-referee-behaving-badly. He has now spoken out and revealed a surprising admission.
David Coote says he feels, "ashamed" of the incidents which led to him being sacked by the Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL) and has reflected on the "dark" days he experienced as stories about him emerged.
Coote was dismissed from the PGMOL in December after being, "in serious breach of the provisions of his employment contract, with his position deemed untenable."
It followed an investigation into a video that showed Coote making derogatory comments about Liverpool and their former manager, Jurgen Klopp. The video was widely circulated on social media in November.
The PGMOL investigation also covered a second video which emerged in November, appearing to show Coote allegedly snorting a white powder, purportedly during Euro 2024 where he was one of the assistant VAR's for the tournament. European football's governing body, UEFA also appointed an ethics investigator to look into the matter.
Sky Sports News asked what it was like being at the centre of tabloid stories, Coote said, "Harder than I can probably express. In the first instances, it was a real shock and then as things gathered pace in terms of other stories that came to light, it was really, really hard."
"In that moment and in those first days, they were really dark because I felt embarrassed and ashamed at what I've done over the course of time and yeah, it was really, really tough. The situation that I found myself in meant that I really had to rely on people's support to get me through."
"Otherwise, genuinely, I don't know that I'd be here."
During the interview with Sky Sports News, Coote reflects on his disparaging comments about Klopp, whether his drug use affected his officiating and how he is trying to rebuild his lifeā¦
David, thank you so much for taking the time to talk. You've just given your most open, honest and revealing interview that probably you would have ever done in your life. So first of all, how are you?
"I'm all right. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm all right. It's been a really challenging few weeks and then that obviously led to me doing the interview that's been released and what that has given me the opportunity to do is provide some context and allow my story and allow me to be seen more as a human than a referee and that's been really important."
Why now? Why was now the right time for you to open up on so many levels about what's happening?
"A couple of reasons. Firstly, from a personal perspective, I felt it was really important to set the record straight, to say how much I regret my actions. I wanted to take ownership of what I did and I wanted to have the opportunity to apologise to those who I offended and say that I regret a lot of things I did."
"And then from a second point of view, I want to try and make a difference. I've got a pretty unique opportunity to speak on behalf of the referees that don't have the same opportunities that I've got right now in terms of showing the difficulties of the job. I have the opportunity to talk about how difficult it has been for me personally from a self-esteem perspective, from getting to understand myself and understand my sexuality and what that means to me and what that has meant to me and the impact that that has had on me."
What's it like for you being at the centre of a huge tabloid story?
"Harder than I can probably express. In the first instances, it was a real shock and then as things gathered pace in terms of other stories that came to light, it was really, really hard."
"In that moment and in those first days, they were really dark because I felt embarrassed and ashamed at what I've done over the course of time and yeah, it was really, really tough. The situation that I found myself in meant that I really had to rely on people's support to get me through."
"Otherwise, genuinely, I don't know that I'd be here."
You talk about not being here. What do you mean by that?
"In that first week, I had suicidal thoughts and I didn't get close to acting on those but at that time, that was really tough and a lot of people spoke to me and reached out to me on a frequent basis, daily basis because they were concerned about my welfare which I was grateful to them for."
"A lot of things that I really regret either doing or saying and they all came to light in the space of a week or so, when in fact, a lot of them were over the course of four or five years ago and in my head, I'd put them to bed and I'd put them to one side and forgotten they even existed. To then find myself facing what they were just reignited some really difficult times and some really tough thoughts."
On 11 November, the video was released into the public domain with you and a friend. I know you've spoken a lot about that video. One thing that was mentioned was Jurgen Klopp's nationality and that's one of the criticisms of the video. That's not been addressed yet. Why hasn't it been addressed?
"I'm not too sure, If I'm honest. I'm more than happy to address it and what I did say and I maintain is I said things that I didn't mean and that's the adjective of using the country where Jurgen originates. It was not something that I meant and not something that I feel. My grandmother on my mum's side is German and I really regret using, I regret everything that I said but I particularly regret using those words."
You must look back now and think how did that even happen? How did I allow myself to be recorded in that manner?
"Of course, ultimately I've paid a real price for that. I've taken responsibility for that from the very outset of course and I understood the seriousness in the first instance immediately as I was made aware of the publication of the video and to that extent I understood and accepted my fate immediately, with the PGMOL as well."
"I want to take ownership of my actions. I think that's important. I want to apologise to those who are offended by what I said and were offended but I want to now try and live my life to the values that are truly me and to the best of my ability moving forward and I want to try and move on from what has been a really difficult time and hope I'm able to do so."
A number of videos surfaced, one of those where you were using substances after a European game. For those people that say your drug use affected your ability to make clear and concise decisions during matches, big matches, what would your response to them be?
"I can understand why they may think that way. However, I do want to make it clear that this was really personal for me. It was around my responses to coping with pressure and it was post-game without an implication on my work."
"I don't condone it for one instance of course. I regret taking those actions. I made really poor choices at that time. There were times when I escaped to a place that I really don't want to go back to."
Can you understand how damaging that could have been for the PGMOL and how much that could potentially damage the game?
"To be effectively publicly humiliated by those videos appearing so the consequence to my personal reputation, for people close to me who didn't know that that's what I did, has been really severe and I understand the damage that that could have done reputationally on a wider scale of course as well but none of my colleagues were aware."
"I don't have the hiding place and that's part of the reason why it was important to determine and to come out and say my sexuality, to say that I'm gay because I'm now living my life as me, as the authentic version of me that doesn't have the hidden side that I've had to suppress and it's genuinely felt like a huge weight off my shoulders, a huge relief and I feel in a much stronger place personally on the on the back of it even in the first few weeks."
"I've been using therapy for many years and that has had some successes but it's been in really pinch moments and where things have come to a head or there's not been an opportunity to use coping mechanisms in a healthy way that has led me to behaviours that when I look on now I'm really quite ashamed of and that I obviously I regret but I don't recognise as me."
You're the centre of this big storm in the world of football, people are talking about you, your headline news, what was that like for you being at home, being trapped, maybe worrying about even leaving the house? Can you give us an insight into perhaps those moments 'I have to take that step, I have to get on with my life?'
"It was really difficult, I didn't want to leave the house because I felt everybody would be judging me. I felt that every which way I looked people were looking at me and thinking what's he done, why has he done that, he's let himself down, he's let other people down, he's let his colleagues, his friends, his family down."
"I went shopping and for the first time everywhere I was looking in the supermarket I felt that everybody was watching me or was looking at me and judging me and I had a panic attack in one of the aisles and had to take some deep breaths. I got to the checkout and the woman on the checkout then said something really nice to me and I hope you're okay, you appear to have been through a tough time and I just welled up, I broke down in tears and I thought that I have to keep getting out there now because if I just stay in my house then this is only going to get worse."
"So I decided that I needed to go to the gym. I decided at that point that I was going to train and do a half marathon, that half marathon changed into a marathon when I registered for the Rob Burrow Leeds Marathon, but there was a reason for that which is my uncle was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and that was in the summer of 2023 at the time when my mum passed away."
With what you've been through, so many times I bet you wish you could have reached out to your mum and just spoke to her and she could have just given you the support that perhaps no one else could have done through some of the most difficult times of your life.
"Yeah, I've been to visit where her ashes are scattered and yeah of course I do. My family have been great but I miss my mum terribly and you know anybody who's lost anybody close to them I guess will understand that."
"But I feel like I've let people down and I wish she'd been here to support me but equally I'm pleased that she's not seen what I've been through either because I'm pretty ashamed of that."
Timeline of events
Saturday, 9 November 2024: Coote referees Liverpool 2-0 Aston Villa.
Monday, 11 November: An unverified video of Coote making derogatory comments about Liverpool and their former manager Jurgen Klopp circulates on social media.
Monday, 11 November: PGMOL suspends Coote and launches an investigation.
Tuesday, 12 November: FA begins own investigation into Coote video.
Tuesday, 12 November : Chief refereeing officer Howard Webb says on Sky Sports' Match Officials Mic'd Up that PGMOL taking the incident "very seriously".
Thursday, 14 November: PGMOL aware of new video appearing to show Coote snorting a white powder while reportedly working at Euro 2024.
Wednesday, 27 November: FA investigating allegations Coote discussed giving a yellow card before a game as reported by The Sun. Coote refutes allegations.
Monday, 9 December: Coote sacked by PGMOL.
As well as announcing he's gay, he revealed he turned to cocaine over fear of coming out in the, "macho world" of the Premier League.
Coote told the Sun, "I felt a deep sense of shame during my teenage years in particular. I didnāt come out to my parents until I was 21. I didnāt come out to my friends until I was 25."
"My sexuality isnāt the only reason that led me to be in that position. But Iām not telling an authentic story if I donāt say that Iām gay, and that Iāve had real struggles dealing with hiding that. I hid my emotions as a young ref and I hid my sexuality as well - a good quality as a referee but a terrible quality as a human being. And thatās led me to a whole course of behaviours."
Coote admits that the pressure of being a referee in the Premier League - and the abuse that is directed towards officials - meant he was unsure about coming out. He added, "Iāve had issues around my self-esteem and that relates to my sexuality. Iām gay and Iāve struggled with feeling proud of being āmeā over a long period of time.
"I have received deeply unpleasant abuse during my career as a ref and to add my sexuality to that would have been really difficult. Thereās a lot to be done throughout football and more widely in society with regard to discrimination."
"I didnāt want to be that person that was putting their head above the parapet to be shot at, given the abuse we all get as a referee in any event."
Coote also discussed using cocaine as an escape, as he suppressed his emotions while also having a hectic working schedule. On hid drug use, he added, "Itās not something I was reliant on day by day, week by week, month by month."
"Iāve had long periods where Iāve not used it ā but it was one of the escape routes I had. Just getting away from the stresses, the relentlessness of the job. It fills me with a huge sense of shame to say that I took that route."
After the video slamming Liverpool and Klopp emerged, he was immediately suspended and his sacking was announced by the PGMOL last month. Coote ultimately decided not to appeal his sacking and has not commented on his situation until now.
The Football Association opened its own investigation into the video involving Liverpool, understood to be centred on that last comment and whether Cooteās reference to Kloppās nationality constituted an aggravated breach of its misconduct rules.
Paul Field, the chair of the RA (Referee Association), which looks after the welfare of referees at all levels, has seen the work Coote has done with young officials and hopes that experience is not lost to the English game.
"He deserves to have a role," Field said. "The work he does with young people is exemplary. Heās an unbelievable tutor. He puts so much time and effort into the Āup-and-coming grassroots officials. He has a magnificent role to offer in terms of coaching, mentoring and support."
"Iād love for him to stay in the UK. Iād love him to be part of the ĀEnglish Football Association, Ātraining, mentoring, out of the public light to look after himself. He has so much to offer. I donāt think he knows how much respect he has from other Āreferees for the work he has done."
Sources close to Coote say he is keeping an open mind about what he may look to do next. He is understood to remain confident that a ĀFootball Association investigation into Āmessages exchanged with a Leeds fan concerning showing a yellow card to one of their players in 2019 will clear him.
Field laid the blame primarily at former player pundits for sparking social media "pile-ons" with their comments and said he was minded to make a complaint to broadcasting regulator, Ofcom. "These pundits, ex-professionals, who pile on are the source of the problem," he said. "I think the broadcasters have a duty of care to people. Ofcom ought to be writing to some of these media companies and radio companies, just to remind them of their own obligations."
Field said he could understand why Coote had not gone public about his sexuality while he was Ārefereeing, "Whatever angle Āsupporters can have a go at, theyāll have a go at. The Āreferee abuse we have is Āhorrendous and any excuse for any of these morons to have a go at us, they will use that excuse."
The former player, Zander Murray, who came out as gay in 2022, said on Tuesday he had been contacted by Coote at the time to offer his support. Murray told TalkSport, "He resonated with my story back then and he was really, really struggling with his own sexuality. Obviously fast forward to now, what heās done is obviously a huge error and huge mistake and heās been punished for that. Iām not in regular contact with him. All I can vouch for is heās definitely not lying in regards to struggling with this for a long time."
I think it was obvious that he would speak out at one point. Nevertheless, I believe it was a brave move to do this interview. A bigger shock to me was that he is gay. I have no problem with that. I tend to side with him on the secrecy. Most people tend to ridicule the homosexuality sector. With that, it can be difficult to come out.
I think it's good that he went to therapy. I know from experience. I have weekly sessions and I have found it to be extremely helpful. I was on the verge of commiting suicide but now I'm just fine and those thoughts have diminished. I don't agree with the drug use. In most cases, people will do things on an unconscious level and can lead to absolutely no memory of doing the act.
I believe he should be allowed to referee games - should he choose to do so.